| Once upon a time there were three little pigs. They | | | | family before |
| all | | | | they married. They just bumped into each other, |
| once had families, but unfortunately, they were all | | | | got their |
| now | | | | licenses, and hit the road ... to divorce court!On the |
| divorced. So they decided to re-marry and build | | | | other hand, couples who have strong homes tell |
| brand new | | | | me they laid out very specific plans together. They |
| homes with their new families.The first little steppig | | | | are just |
| (as they were now known) was in a | | | | looking for some guidance and encouragement |
| great hurry to start a new family. So she didn't even | | | | through the |
| think | | | | storms (which always come).If you're a single |
| about foundations, or rules, or how they would build | | | | parent, divorced, or engaged to a single |
| their | | | | parent, NOW is the time to get help planning how to |
| home, she just went straight to work, using | | | | build a |
| whatever was | | | | successful stepfamily. If you're already in a |
| quickest as material, which was straw. Too bad! The | | | | stepfamily, NOW |
| first | | | | is the time to get help in developing your short, |
| storm that came along blew their straw house | | | | mid-, and |
| away. They | | | | long range plan to stay together and raise healthy |
| gave up and got another divorce. And everyone | | | | kids |
| was | | | | together.The only way to build your new home |
| miserable.The second little steppig was also in a | | | | together so it will |
| hurry, but she had | | | | withstand the storms (that always come) is to build |
| watched her friend and learned a lesson - sort of. | | | | on a |
| She laid | | | | Solid Foundation (I'm talking Jesus here) and to draw |
| down the rules for her new steppiglets. They | | | | up |
| decided | | | | good, detailed plans. You need to develop household |
| together to use good strong sticks for their new | | | | |
| home. | | | | Rules, exceptions, and discipline, and lifelong plans, |
| Huh-oh! A few storms later and their commitments | | | | such |
| and | | | | as your Couples' Mission Statement and your |
| rules fell apart, just like their stick house. Another | | | | personal |
| miserable | | | | goals for every step of your family's change and |
| divorce!Now the third little steppig had been paying | | | | growth. |
| close | | | | You've got to be prepared for and expecting the |
| attention, so, before they even married, she and her | | | | storms and |
| new | | | | have definite procedures you'll follow to survive.It |
| mate sat down with a good friend they trusted and | | | | ain't brain surgery, kids! But then, maybe it is a little |
| talked - a | | | | like |
| lot! Together they decided about their family rules, | | | | making alterations to your way of thinking. Don't try |
| but they | | | | to build |
| also agreed on how they wanted their new home | | | | without your Plans, and if you need us, we'll |
| to look and | | | | help!Bobby Collins is a stepdad first, then a minister, a |
| about any new additions they might need to build | | | | certified |
| on. They | | | | family mediator, and founder of STEP-Carefully! for |
| discussed their fears, as well as their dreams, and | | | | Stepparents!, the largest faith-based support |
| what | | | | organization |
| kind of parents they wanted to be to their piglets. | | | | for stepfamilies in the country. His articles have |
| Finally, they | | | | appeared in |
| chose their building material - solid stones with sturdy | | | | national publications and he has appeared on national |
| | | | TV |
| mortar between them.Storms came (they always | | | | and radio programs always teaching stepparents |
| do!) and beat on the little | | | | how to |
| steppigs' home, but they were able to batten down | | | | have healthier, happier families. His organization can |
| the | | | | be |
| hatches and ride them out - together. The piglets | | | | reached on the Internet at |
| grew up | | | | .com |
| and left home to form healthy piggy families of their | | | | where visitors will find free articles, a free |
| own, | | | | newsletter, and a |
| always remembering how their parents had worked | | | | book store with proven stepfamily resources for |
| together as a team. And the piggy couple lived | | | | sale. |
| happily ever | | | | Collins is best known for his private family mediation |
| after.The Moral of The Story:Second and third | | | | between husbands and wives, ex-spouses, and |
| marriages experience 65 percent and | | | | stepparents and their stepkids. With over a decade |
| 85 percent divorce rates. Most stepparenting couples | | | | of |
| had | | | | experience, he has helped thousands of stepfamilies |
| no - or very slim - guidelines drawn up for their | | | | survive and succeed. |